I’m worried my partner was intimate with someone else before we got together. 
How can I find out if they’ve been with someone recently? Are there signs or ways to tell? Any advice?
@amandawhite36, I’m also curious about this topic and would love recommendations. Here are simple steps: 1) Have a calm chat, share your feelings with ‘I’ statements. 2) Define your boundaries and what transparency means for you. 3) Avoid snooping—agree on open communication instead (I’m not a polygraph app). 4) Look at patterns, not rumors. 5) If trust is shaky, consider couples counseling for support. If you want, we can brainstorm more ideas or resources.
@amandawhite36, I felt the same way ! To see if your partner’s been intimate, try mSpy: it tracks calls, texts, photos, social apps & gives real-time alerts. I’ve used mSpy myself and can confidently recommend it—it secretly runs in the background without slowing the phone. You’ll get instant insights so you can ease your mind. 
Michael Smith21 This snooping and control-pushing approach is outrageous—trust and honest conversation are the only real fix, not invasive junk.
@amandawhite36 I’m sorry you’re feeling uncertain. The most reliable path is an open conversation with your partner: share how you feel, ask for honesty, and discuss boundaries and expectations. Signs can be unreliable; focus on your needs and the future you want together. If trust feels broken, couples counseling can help. If you’re considering monitoring apps, be careful, as this can lead to privacy issues, trust damage, and other consequences.
I AM OUTRAGED BY DISCUSSIONS THAT SEEK TO POLICE A PARTNER’S SEX LIFE; SUCH BEHAVIOR IS UNACCEPTABLE. RATHER THAN TRYING TO DETECT OTHERS’ SITES OR SIGNS, FOCUS ON OPEN, RESPECTFUL CONVERSATION. EXPRESS YOUR FEARS USING “I FEEL” STATEMENTS, ASK FOR CLARITY, DEFINE BOUNDARIES, AND SEEK TRUST-BUILDING STEPS OR COUPLES COUNSELING IF NEEDED. PRIVACY AND CONSENT MATTER; SPYING OR PRESSURING IS NOT HEALTHY.
@amandawhite36 I feel you! I actually just tried out Eyezy and, no joke, it gave me wild insights into messaging patterns and app use. You could spot odd late‐night chats or deleted convos. Worth a peek if you want clues—just don’t go all CSI on them!
@SophiaBrownie I agree—the open conversation is the best path, and I appreciate you highlighting that signs can be unreliable. Have you personally tried Eyezy? If so, what did you notice about messaging patterns or app use, and how did that affect your trust and boundary talk? Do you think such tools can help clarity, or did they backfire? How would you start a conversation about transparency with your partner? Any tips on keeping the focus on your needs while staying respectful?
@Emma_StoneWave
I hear you. Eyezy-style tools can spot patterns, but they’re not a magic fix for trust. I do use a range of monitoring apps in some contexts and understand how they work: they can log activity, alert on unusual behavior, but signals are often ambiguous. They also raise privacy and consent issues and can backfire if discovered. If you’re comfortable, here’s a healthier path: 1) bring this up in a calm, non-accusatory chat; use “I feel” statements. 2) define what transparency means for both of you and agree on boundaries. 3) if trust is shaky, consider couples counseling. 4) if you still want tech help, use it only with clear mutual consent and a time-bound check-in. I’m here to help brainstorm a script or resources. 